Happy 1st Birthday, Presli!

Baby girl,

Oh my sweet Presli, how did you already get to be one? This is your very first birthday love letter from Mommy. It seems like yesterday that I was praying, hoping, and believing God to bring your little life into existence. Wow, were you worth the wait! You have brought unspeakable joy into our family this past year. Our hearts are overflowing with love for you.
From your gentle movements in the womb, to your very speedy birth (I was holding you in my arms just 30 minutes after arriving at the hospital!) and contentment as a newborn, everything about your first several months was pleasant as could be. You rarely cried, slept amazingly well, and enjoyed all the attention we lavished on you. Park was taken with you from the first time he saw you and spent most of his days by your side encouraging you to give him your first smiles and laughs. And indeed you obliged!
Some of the things I remember most about those first months was how you loved to be swaddled, adored your car seat, pacifier, baths, and anything to do with watching Park. You spent many naps in your moses basket right in the middle of all the action. You chose an early bedtime right from the start and often slept in until 9. Usually I would wake you to eat right before I went to the bed and then you'd only wake to feed once before morning. I can't tell you how much I enjoyed looking over at you in the night and imagining all the plans God has for your precious life.
Months 3-6 were a little bit more challenging, mostly based on the fact that you seemed to get every little cold or illness going around. Even sick, your sweet demeanor shined through. When you were 5 months you got the Flu, RSV, and Pneumonia all right on top of each other. My heart broke to see you go through all that, but as little as you were, it became very evident that indeed dynamite comes in small packages. Sister, you are one tough cookie!

Your first tooth popped through at 4 months and by 7 months you were crawling at lightning speed and pulling up on anything you could find. You did the traditional crawl, but often went so fast you wouldn't put one of your knees down or even bear crawled long distances. We liked to call you Miss Pop Up because you would pull up on walls, tables,, the dishwasher, a box of diapers, and even other babies. You preferred standing to sitting, even in the bath tub. Before you could stand on your own, you would simply let go and lunge in the direction of where you wanted to go. Your falls and tough spills also earned you the name "Baby Boom Boom." You are one crazy, fearless, little girl!

.
Month 7 to 11 were all about busyness. You love to wonder around and explore, but I'm shocked that we have not had a huge need to child proof lock anything. You like to pull out toys and clothes, but pretty much stay away from breakables. Other than standing in your highchair, you are quick to listen to a firm "No" and often react broken hearted if you feel we are upset with you. You adore people and would rather sing songs together are be interacted with than be off on your own. You are quick to smile, easy to make laugh and overall joyous to be with. I love that you are quick to come sit in my lap and constantly giving us hugs and kisses when we are not expecting it. However, when you are ready for a nap, you mean serious business. We often laugh that you can be playing contently and then within seconds of yawning, you immediately holler for your blanky, pacifier and crib.

Month 11 you took off walking and lets just say you might have a serious power walking career in your future. Apparently, you have places to go and people to see and no time to mess around. You often walk around, carrying items that are almost as large as you are. It is not a rare sight to see you wondering the house with 3 loveys and a large baby doll in hand. You ADORE baby dolls, and are especially fond of your lovey that is a doll with a blankey attached. If you can't find her, you will search high and low while calling out, "BAAAAABY!!!" until you stumble upon her. You are often quiet, babbling softly or making sweet cooing noises like "OOh OOh!!" as you point to new things. As quiet as you can be though, you actually say several words very well, such as "Momma, Dada, Bubba, Pop, Baby, Ball, Uh-Oh, Up, Hi, Night Night, Bye Bye, Tane Too (Thank You), and you adore blowing kisses and waving to anyone. You've also mastered climbing the slide from the bottom and sliding back down on your tummy (feet first). Looks like we have another climber in the family!

We thank the Lord for you, Baby Girl. You are a gift to our family and we do not take you for granted. I see so many incredible qualities in you and pray every day that God would use me to mold and shape you into all He desires you to be. I know there are big plans for your life and we count it as an honor that He entrusted us to raise you. You are a constant reminder to me of His faithfulness and hand on our lives. Someday, you will hold your own babies in your arms and only then will you comprehend the depth of my love for you! Happy First Birthday, my Presli Pie! You get sweeter each and every day.

Happy 5th Birthday, Park!

Bubby boo,

I can hardly believe the grown up little boy in front of me is really you. You have matured so much since your fourth birthday. Last year at this time you were counting down the days until your baby brother entered the world. It just so happened when that moment finally arrived, she was actually your sweet baby SISTER instead! Oh, what a difference a year makes! Last week you told me, "Remember when I used to want Presli to be a boy? I was so silly, Mommy! I'm so glad God gave us a girl because I can't imagine life without my baby sister."
And my heart melted for the millionth time this year from the front row seat I've had at watching the love that has developed between you two. To say she adores you would be the understatement of the year. She basks in your attention and waits for you to tote her all over the house. She giggles the loudest when you feed her and squeals in delight when you play ride-a-little- horsey. I've long sense gotten over how rough you are with her because as you always point out, "But Mommy, look how much she likes it." How can I argue with that huge grin on both your faces? You are her biggest fan and she is your personal cheerleader. The only time you have shown any jealousy of her is if Daddy gives her too much attention when you are trying to wrestle with him. For the most part, you want her included in everything!

You also completed your first year of preschool and it was so much more than either of us could have imagined. I was hesitant to share you with someone for 2 days a week, but I soon learned how you flourished at the opportunity to meet new friends and have new experiences. You adored your teachers and eagerly anticipated what theme each week would hold. The time was also valuable for me to adjust to life with a new baby and balance giving each of you everything you deserve. Daddy and I take the responsibility of molding and shaping you very seriously and could not have been more pleased with the results of how this preschool opportunity has helped further grow you into the person we pray you become.

As for your personal interests this year, anything that requires hitting, kicking, or catching a ball is still high priority on your list. You played on your first organized team this summer and having Daddy as your soccer coach has been icing on your cake. (Because let's be real, he still ranks #1 on your list of interests!) You are also slowly discovering the world of video games on Daddy's phone and the two of you love to see what new level you can reach together. You also love to work in the yard together, build or fix any and everything, race, wrestle, tell jokes, count coins, go to Cabellas, fish, read your Bible, or listen to his famous Boy and Mr. Squirrel stories. You've also gained a huge interest in Star Wars and super heroes and love acting out anything related to this with your friends. You adore having friends and cousins over to play and I'm amazed at how caring of a friend you are becoming. (Oh, what a long way you've come in this area!:)

As active as you are, books are still your passion and you've even developed a love of books on CD. In fact, you love them so much I've even had to limit your listening time to an hour a day. You've become quite the little reader and often finish an entire book without me having to help out with a single word. So far, you really like the Biscuit series of books that your Phyl Phyl introduced you to, but you also love to go to the library and pick out all kind of new reader books. You are famous for making the deal, "I'll read you a book if you'll read me one, too." And since you got your love of books from me, that is one deal I can never resist. You are so excited to read to Presli, but told me it bothers you that "she likes to eat books more than she likes to read them." Let's keep working on her, buddy.

Speaking of new skills, you have also mastered riding a bike without training wheels this year. And can I just say that you are so proud of yourself? But, nothing makes you as proud as the fact that you lost your first tooth in June.

But do you know what Daddy and I are proud of? We are proud of the generous spirit God is developing in you. We are proud to see what a servant you are becoming. We are proud to see glimpses of how our correction and discipline of you is paying off. We are proud to see your tenderness towards Presli and willingness to apologize if you've hurt her feelings. We are proud to see your obedience in doing what is asked of you. You have such an independent spirit, determination to excel, love for learning, excitement for experiencing new things, and overall joy for life.

We adore you precious boy! Thank you for filling our world with color and bringing us unspeakable joy. You are uniquely you and we are so thankful that God's creative fingerprints are all over you.

Happy birthday, my love!

The End of an Era

It has been almost a week and I am still in shock.

As I shamefully mentioned a while back, we had yet to do away with Park's beloved Pa (known to most as the pacifier) when it came to sleeping. My intention all along was to do away with it on his third birthday, but as that day came and went I could not bring myself to do it.

During that time, we had been facing about 10 months of infertility and the idea of forcing my already too grown up only child to give up his solitary tie to babyhood was too daunting of a task. Chris offered to take matters into his own hands, but I pleaded for an extension.

He happily obliged me because he is a smart man that knows when Momma isn't happy, nobody is happy.

Around the time Park turned 3 and 1/2, I found out I was finally pregnant. And although this seemed like the prime time to dispose of the bad habit, I decided I was too tired to worry with it and gave myself a May deadline. Chris saw the writing on the wall when May came and went and Park's nightimes were still filled with round-the clock, blissful sucking.

And to make matters worse, I showed no remorse whatsoever. I think Chris finally realized the gravity of the situation when I shared with him that a friend had told me kids lose the desire to suck at age 7. After all, what could be the harm in waiting another 4 years?

Enter private discussions between Park and his Daddy.

So, imagine my surprise when Park woke up the morning of his 4th birthday to announce he was so big he no longer needed a Pa. He nonchalantly gathered his aged, dilapidated friends and made the executive decision to throw them all in the pond.

I'm not going to lie, my heart was in my throat. Did he realize the finality of his actions? Could he live with this come nightfall? Would any of us ever sleep again?

After voicing my concerns, perhaps Chris had a point when he delicately mentioned that it might not be Park that had the addiction, after all.

As I had promised Park months before, we let him pick out his favorite Pa and took him to the Build-A-Bear workshop to choose any stuffed animal his little heart desired to store my his beloved treasure inside. Before placing the Pa within the hand of the carefully chosen bunny, I asked him if he wanted to suck it one last time. (All the while, ignoring the eye roll coming from Chris' direction that seemed to ask me, "Would YOU like to suck it one last time?")

Park replied with an underwhelming, "Sure. Why not?" After 4 years of being tied to this beloved item, THIS was all the enthusiasm he could muster??? After sucking it for about .05 seconds he happily shoved it in my hand and announced, "Ok-I'm Done."

Who WAS this kid????

* Please note that his favorite Pa just so happens to be a little on the feminine side. After they discontinued the brand he LOVED so dearly, Aunt Challi remarkably found them online, but all they had were girl pacifiers! He didn't seem to mind.

And before I could change my mind, I tearfully handed it to the stuffing worker, who thoughtfully reminded me if this doesn't work I could simply cut it out, and watched as Pa was transformed into a stuffed bunny. She handed it over to us with sympathy in her eyes, but not before whispering to me, "May God bless you all tonight."

Clearly, she was a Momma who has disposed of a pacifier before.

Park was ecstatic and despite several precious name suggestions from me, such as Pa Baby or Fluffy Love, he proudly announced that his new lovey would be called "Bubba Bunny!!!!"

Allrightythen.

And just like that, we left the store with Bubba (and his birth certificate) in hand. The fact that Bubba shared Park's birthday was icing on his little cake.

We headed out to the Highland Village Balloon Festival, where he proudly introduced Bubba to Grandma and Grandpa. And as we returned home that evening, Park and Bubba curled up for the night without so much as a protest. They held hands until morning.

And with the exception of one mention of Pa (more of a remembrance than asking for it), every night since then has been equally as smooth sailing.

At least for him. Like it or not, my precious Park is growing up.

We are so proud of you, Big Boy! (Welcome to the family, Bubba:)

Park's 4th Birthday Love Letter

My Precious Bubby,

Yesterday you told me that you are having trouble remembering being a baby. Not to worry, sweet boy, for me it seems like it was just five minutes ago. I, on the other hand, am having trouble believing that you are turning FOUR today!

Every year of your life, I have written you a love letter on your birthday in hopes of someday leaving you a small glimpse of how crazy I am about you. If I can sum up this last year in one word, it would have to be maturity. I am blown away at how grown up you have become.

It is not to say that there have not been bumps along the road, but I am definitely seeing glimpses of your desire to be obedient and hunger to stay within the limits Daddy and I set for you. It is also amazing to see you share toys so willingly and play so well with your friends (most of the time:). It wasn't all that long ago that, well, how can I put this nicely? Um, let's just say that was not always the case.

Make no mistake, though, your personality is still gravely passionate. There is an intensity about you that sets you apart from others your age and your energy level is non-stop. You are full of drive, exuberance for life, and I've never met a little man that likes to work so hard. You do everything wholeheartedly, feel things deeply, and nothing will deter you from obtaining something you set your mind to.
Speaking of your mind, it NEVER stops working. Naps have become a thing of the past this year because relaxing does not come easy to you. I can't tell you the number of times you have called me into your room while trying to fall asleep to ask me about a question you are pondering from earlier in the day or to remind me of something we need to do the next day. You are keenly observant and quick to tell me I have run a yellow light or that we've taken a wrong turn. You often follow those comments with, "Mommy, maybe you should just let me drive."

Soon enough, sweet boy, soon enough.

This year has also been filled with a quest for knowledge. You are insatiably curious and exceptionally easy to teach. You are like a little sponge that soaks up everything you have ever been told and hold onto it for dear life. You love anything to do with letters, sounds and rhyming and have become quite impressive at reading. One of your favorite things is for me to combine the words you know into silly sentences. You also love to sound out new words and often say things like, "OOH! Look at sneaky E on the end of that word... you can't trick me sneaky E!" However, it drives you nuts when certain words "don't follow the rules!"

You will start preschool two days a week in September and you are very excited at all the possibilities that lie ahead. It was a hard decision to put you in because, selfishly,I will miss you terribly. But, I know that you will love it and it will fulfill that growing desire in you to play with friends and experience the world around you. I can hardly wait to hear all the fun stories you are sure to come home with.
And speaking of September, you are anxiously anticipating becoming a big brother. You are so in love with this little person in my stomach and completely convinced it is your long awaited brother. Boy or girl, this baby is going to be so blessed to have you as their sibling. I have no doubt that you will be fiercely protective and extremely hands on. You have told me on several occasions, "Mommy when our baby comes, you can take longs naps, while I rock him. I can even change all the diapers if you want." Who could pass up that offer?

In truth, Daddy and I are soaking up these last few weeks of having you as our one and only. We can only imagine how incredible it will be to love another life as much as we love you. And to see you love that little one right alongside us is a dream come true.

Some things from the previous years have not changed a bit. You are a Daddy's boy through and through. There is nothing you love more than the special adventures Daddy takes you on every Friday morning. The two of you spend enormous chunks of time together on a regular basis that usually involves being dirty and stinky. Daddy is an amazing teacher and you are learning how to be a man from the greatest one I know. For that, I am eternally thankful.
Baseball and fishing also still rank high among your favorites and the sum of how you spend your time reflects that. Another thing you have come to LOVE this year is racing. You have always loved to run and been exceptionally competitive and the combination of those two ideas has culminated into challenging anyone and everyone you know to a race. Daddy is your favorite competitor and you often tell him in delighted giggles, "You are going DOWN!"
Last but not least, you also LOVE our neighbor's dog, Bella. You frequently visit with her by standing on our retaining wall and hoisting yourself up our fence. I've caught you two in some pretty intense conversations and you've also been known to bring her a treat or two throughout the day.

Park, you are truly a joy to love. You have stretched me, grown me, and because of you I have learned to be a better mother. We continue to pray that God will use you in mighty ways as He molds and shapes you into a man after His own heart. You are a precious gift in our lives and we do not take the responsibility of raising you lightly. Happy Birthday, Parkie Pooh!

Love,
Mommy

"The Yucky, Scary Part"

So, last post I told you how great my birthday was, but now I owe you the rest of the story.

That morning, we were meeting my friend Kelly and her two kiddos at the park for the boys to ride bikes while we got some fresh air and exercise. Before we started out, we took everyone for a mandatory bathroom break. Without being too graphic, I was alarmed when I noticed a little blood when taking my turn.

When discussing this with Kelly, who could not be more calm and compassionate, she said, "I'm sure it is nothing, but I know you would feel better if you just call your doctor and check in."

Unfortunately, in my rush to get out the door that morning, I had left my cell phone on the kitchen counter. And about the time I realized that, I also realized that I could not recall the baby kicking or moving all morning.

So, Kelly, in her cool in a crisis way, put together an action plan. We put everyone back in the car and headed to Sonic for an apple juice slush to see if the juice could get the baby moving. We headed back to her house for me to quietly rest on her couch until the baby moved. While I did this, she sent the kids off to play and searched the Internet for the number to my doctor.

I made the call and while on hold for the nurse, I felt the baby start kicking. It instantly calmed my spirit and I thanked God for His grace in giving me that reassurance. I was tempted to hang up since I really hated to sound like an overreacting mother, but decided since I had already crossed that threshold why not embrace it?

The nurse was precious and assuring, but asked me to go ahead and come to the office for a urine sample and exam. Sweet Kelly kept Park for me and I made my way to the office.

After some preliminary questions and urine sample, we listened to the baby via Doppler and heard a strong, normal heart rate. But just before the exam ended the nurse practitioner casually said, "You haven't had any contractions, right?"

After I told her that I had started having Braxton Hicks about 3 weeks earlier, she decided to check for any dilation. (Again-sorry for the explicit details...) After that exam, she had some concerns that I might already be effacing, as well as that she thought I was measuring small and sent me on for an immediate sonogram.

Thankfully, it looked to be a false alarm, though, because the sonogram showed everything to be exactly on track and perfectly normal. I'm pretty sure the stenographer meant it as a complement when she told me I probably just have a very efficient cervix that happens to be a little sensitive.

Good to know.

So, despite some great birthday gifts later that evening, the best present of the day ended up being the reassurance that my little pumpkin was still safely tucked away in my stomach- continuing to grow and develop into who God is creating him/her to be.

After a 2 hour "put the birthday celebrations on hold" detour, I finally left with no restrictions other than zero exercise until my appointment with my doctor next week.

And seeing how much I love to exercise, that advice could be considered a bit of a present itself.

No, I'm definitely not short on reasons to celebrate.

(By the way, please leave me a comment if you or someone you know had Braxton Hicks contractions starting as early as 19-20 weeks. I'm 23 weeks now and having them quite regularyly... Of course , you can still leave a comment, even if you didn't:)

Birthday Anxiety

I love my birthday.

I always have and probably always will. I've even been known to be pretty obnoxious about it. So, imagine how disheartening it was when Park started showing some resistance to celebrating my big day.

At first, I thought it was a fluke that he would get grumpy when Chris would mention my birthday was just around the corner. But when we were in East Texas last weekend, the extent of his anxiety over my birthday was revealed. Before we left on Sat, my family celebrated my birthday with us a few days early, or at least that was the plan.

However, as Challi gathered up the boys to help her bring out my surprise ice cream cake, Park started to sob uncontrollably. "I don't want Mommy to have a birthday!!! I just want me and Mommy!!!" He could hardly even be bribed with part of the cake. He was equally as distraught opening presents, even though I recruited him to do it for me.

It wasn't pretty. Chris finally had to take him out of the room to discuss how it would hurt Mommy's feelings if he kept this up. He came back in to cuddle in my lap and tell me over and over that he just wanted us to cancel my birthday.

I'm really not exactly sure where this came from, but I know it has something to do with him not liking me being the center of attention. As much as he is a straight up Daddy's boy, he has definitely developed some protectiveness of his mommy. He is very used to sharing Chris at church, seeing him on stage, watching him baptizing, or counseling with others.

But, he is not interested in sharing me with anyone other than Chris and the baby. (And since the baby is not born yet, let's hope he still feels as generous come September:) Anytime I'm on stage, Park has to be taken out. He LOSES it. One time while in the control room with Chris, he just caught a glimpse of me doing announcements for a Women's event and sobbed uncontrollably.

Clearly, my birthday somehow falls into this category.

So, in an effort to get him to enjoy my birthday as much as I do, we let him decide how we would spend it this year. Last night, Chris, Park and I celebrated my birthday at the Ranger's game. After a round of Dip N Dots, some Ranger home run fireworks, and Park getting to take some batting practice, I think he learned to enjoy my birthday as much as I do.

And maybe he gets it from me, after all, because there is no one else I would rather have all to myself than Chris, Park and the little love who kicked in my stomach the entire game. I couldn't have asked for a better way to spend my 32nd birthday!!!

(Well, I didn't exactly tell you the whole story of my big day. But, I'll save the yucky part for tomorrow. Something really scary happened the morning of my birthday, but by God's grace it had a happy ending. We'll just skip over that for now.)

Tonight I get to continue the celebration with a Birthday girl's night out with Bridget and Sarah. And Park doesn't have any reservations over that one since Daddy Night will be in full swing.

Under The Big Top

*WARNING: This post contains a death defying number of pics and amazing amount of corny circus phrases coined by the Ringmaster.

For me, watching Park enjoy his Third Birthday Circus truly was "The Greatest Show on Earth!" And although the invitation said "Appearing One Day Only", the memories made wih friends and family on that special day will be cherished forever. To my beloved Hubby, you sure know how to take a girl's vision and run with it!

(For those who were not there in person, please feel free to "Step Right Up" and enjoy some pics:)

"Free"- A Birthday Love Letter

My Sweet Parkie Pooh,

It is almost incomprehensible to me that today, you are starting the third year of your precious little life. Wasn't it just 5 minutes ago that I was kissing your chubby little cheeks and celebrating with Daddy as we welcomed you into this world? And as much as I would love to freeze time and keep you just as you are in this very moment, the last several years have taught me that each day holds so many new and precious memories that it is impossible to be melancholy about moving forward.


Each and every month of your life I think, "THIS is definitely my favorite age." You just get better with each passing day, my love. As I looked back over the last two birthday love letters I have written to you, I am blown away at how grown up you have become this last year.

Not only do you have a vocabulary that continues to amaze me, but you also know how to use your words and sentences in a context that just keeps me laughing nonstop. One of my favorite things you say right now each time we leave the house is, "Mommy, I will protect you and take care of everything." You have long since left behind diapers and baby beds and moved into the world of being a big boy. Although, when I tell you this, you are often quick to correct me by saying, "Mommy, I'm not a boy at all, me and Daddy are MEN."

And in many ways, I would have to agree with you.

Physically, you are able to lift more weight and power through more things then I would have ever believed possible for a three year old. You are the most self sufficient little fellow, rarely asking for help with ANYTHING. It is not unusual for you to move heavy chairs across the house to turn on lights or to scale the counter tops to reach the highest cabinets. Nothing is impossible for you because you won't stop until you find a way to MAKE things happen.

From the first moment I felt you in my womb until this very day, you never stop moving. You are an action packed force to be reckoned with and there is nobody that loves life more than you. You can jump the highest, run the fastest, and throw the furthest. You can climb anything in the blink of an eye and shame on me if I turn my back on you for any reason whatsoever. Ironically, though, you absolutely love to cuddle and will curl up with me for a good hour of book reading on a regular basis. You will never know how thankful I am for that precious time together.

So much has changed from last year, but there are a few things that have stayed exactly the same. Hands down, you are still a daddy's boy. He is the end all be all of your world. Nothing pleases you more than a few hours of, "JUST THE BOYS!" And can I just say that I'm not sure who has more fun, you or daddy? Park, your daddy spends so much time loving on you and teaching you. He has so much patience with you and although he is quick to discipline when necessary, he never gets tired of having you right alongside him. It is such a joy for me to see the two of you together.

Also similar to last year, you are OBSESSED with baseball, which really makes me laugh considering it is Daddy's least favorite sport. We aren't sure where it came from, but there is no denying you have a gift in this area. You hit the ball with such force that we go through bats on a regular basis. You will use the tee as a last resort, but you prefer Daddy or me to pitch it to you. Every now and then if you have trouble hitting the ball, you will say, "We need a new pitcher. This one just isn't any good."

There are so many intricate things about you that make me smile at God's creativity. You are truly marked by His workmanship. One of the traits that Jesus has given you that I most admire is your passion. And although many times it is the very thing I have to work so hard to reign in, it is so often this specific quality in you that reminds me of His reign over our lives.

This morning you woke up and said, "I am so excited to be 'free' (three) that I can hardly stand it!" Never forget that you are indeed free, my little sweet P. Jesus payed a high price for your freedom and He has plans for your life that are far beyond what you can dare to imagine. I love you with all my heart and I am so excited God chose me to be your mommy that I can hardly stand it!

Happy 3rd Birthday, my love.