Wednesday, December 5, 2007

A Little War Paint Goes a Long Way

UPDATED: Clearly I missed that this was the "What Do I fix" edition of WFMW. Please forgive me and do not assume that I feed my family red lipstick. Nor do I endorse that you should try to, either. Can I just blame my mistake on past sleep deprivation and be done with it?
When pregnant with Park, I often daydreamed of tenderly tucking my sweet little baby in for the night, while singing softly as he or she magically drifted off into peaceful dreams. After all, that is exactly how it happens in the commercials. One quick flip of that little Ocean Wonder light show and "Junior" is snoring before you can even say Fisher Price.

Maybe if we would have named Park "Junior" things would have turned out differently.

After nursing, rocking, jiggling, walking, pacing, shushing, swinging, bouncing, driving, and finally pleading with him, my precious baby boy still remained wide eyed and bushy tailed. When I did finally manage to wear him down enough that he gave in to some shut-eye, he often awoke upon laying him down on any surface other than my chest. Many nights I groggily planned out the invention of a "breathing" bed, one that would feel exactly as if he were laying on me, yet I would be sleeping peacefully elsewhere.

But then again, one would actually have to have brain cells to create such brilliance and unfortunately, all mine were eaten up by sleep deprivation.

So there I was, for months on end, trying everything under the sun to get 3 consecutive hours of sleep. And the months stretched to a year before the child mastered the concept. And after 2 years on this earth, he still seems to have some selective memory on occasion.

Reliving those early days almost makes me too tired to get to my point or remember if I even have one.

Ah, yes. Dark circles. That is where I was going with this.

So, dark circles were becoming a way of life and it wasn't pretty. If there is anything worse than sleep deprivation, it is looking worse than you feel.

Miraculously, in my sleep starved state, I remembered an old trick I had relied upon heavily in my college years. After all that late night studying, AKA going dancing and eating tortillas with queso into the wee hours, I found myself in need of some serious under eye repair. And according to Plato, "Necessity is the mother of all invention."

And here my parents thought they wasted hard earned money on my Liberal Arts degree.

It turns out that the secret to ridding yourself of those unattractive dark circles is quite simple.

Get more sleep.

But, just in case you are in the same sinking boat as me and a good night's rest is not in for your foreseeable future, find comfort in what I'm about to share. Take a tube of red lip stick and apply it like war paint under your eyes.

Now stay with me, ladies. I promise the lack of sleep has not made me totally crazy.

Gently rub in the war paint with a sponge, being careful not to smear it to other facial regions, especially since you may be mistaken for Rudolph during a season such as this. Next, dab a light liquid concealer over it. Complete the look by brushing a smidgen of powder over the aforementioned area.

Now you may feel silly applying the war paint, initially. But, think of it as a battle cry. No longer will we be prisoner to the hideous dark circles that once came with the territory of newborn mothering. It is time we unite and take a stand. Stretch marks may be out of our control, but tolerating black eyes is a thing of the past.

Remember, the concept may take some time to perfect, but the results are well worth the effort.

And, truly, that goes for Mothering, as well.

Now off you go to Rocks in My Dryer for more Works For Me Wednesday wisdom:)

9 comments:

Jenni said...

absolutely fascinating, but it makes total sense, since concealer is yellow-based so that it will neutralize red blemishes, and the yellow can leave eyes looking sallow. I actually just switched to a pink-based concealer that I use only for my eyes for this very reason... Great idea - I'll have to remember it for times when I run out of my under-eye concealer!

Kathy in WA said...

Too funny! I'll have to try that out. I love the War Paint title. :)

Duckabush Blog

Kelly said...

I am willing to try anything because even after 10 years of parenting I still don't get enough sleep. Trust me when I tell you I was hanging on every word of this post- just waiting for the miracle cure.

Pieces said...

It does sound crazy and yet it makes sense. I guess I need to buy some red lipstick now.

Kelly said...

Thanks for stopping by:-) I am so glad Cassidy didn't take me up on my offer to pray ofr her ornaments!

demetria said...

well, i just recently worked up the nerve to wear red lipstick at all, but UNDER my EYES??? okay, if you say it works, i'll give it a try!! thanks!

Sunni at The Flying Mum said...

Woah. Never heard of this, but I'm so intrigued, I will have to try it!

Tiffany said...

Love the advice. By the way, I tagged you. See my last post, if you're interested.

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