Monday, August 20, 2007

One Pluck at a Time


WARNING: ASSEMBLY REQUIRED.

It really doesn't matter what the task is, if it requires reading directions and following a diagram, I am NOT your girl. Joining part A to part B and ensuring that Part C, D, E, and F are secure before connecting G to H and so on and so forth is equivalent to removing my eyelashes one pluck at a time.

So, you can see the beauty of marrying an extremely handy man. And for the most part, I am very thankful that the Lord bestowed a "Jack of All Trades" of a husband upon me.

Enter Park's new water table courtesy of wonderful grandparents....

Knowing my limitations, Chris asked me to back away from this project and he would notify me upon completion. Heading off for a peaceful bubble bath, I left the table in the capable hands of an intelligent husband that waited until his little Park "helper" was fast asleep to conquer the task. After about 2 minutes of work, he gave me the thumbs up and a simple, "Done."

Trying not to be irritated by his ability to rebuild a small village without the least amount of stress or eyelash loss, I congratulated him and assured him he had just made the day of our entire playgroup that would be over the next morning.

From my comatose state, I vaguely remember husband's reminder to "drop in some batteries" to the water table as he left for work in the wee hours (Ok-so it was 7:30ish, but I'm not a morning person!). So, about 5 min before the arrival of the playgroup, I headed outside for quick battery installment.

And that is where the real fun began.

What husband neglected to mention was that "dropping in batteries" required the unscrewing of a tower-like doodad, new placement of a tube-like thingamajig, tightening of a hemhaw, and basic overall reconstructive surgery of the entire structure. All of which required the usage of an ihavenoideawhichone tool with an ihavenopatience toddler suctioned to my leg.

Enter ugly phone call to husband at work that a currently calm wife is not proud to admit she made....

So, playgroup arrived to find a water table in several different pieces and a distraught hostess. My precious girlfriends, equally "unresponsible" for assembly at their respective homes, attempted to salvage my destruction. We examined the diagrams and explanations, reading them in each language they were given. Even Sarah's sweet Caiden attempted to help us with an "I think it needs batteries" directive.

All to no avail. Nine sad little children spent the morning hot and dry. (Minus Bridget's, Eli, who resorted to the good old fashioned water hose:)

Enter Chris home from work...

Precious husband confidently strides over to table and after 10 whole seconds, water magically flows and world peace is established.

And now I leave you with the words of a magnet my Mother-in-Law gave me:
"When I married Mr. Right, I didn't know his first name was Always!"

*Note sarcasm from wife without eyelashes.

Love you, Chris:)

11 comments:

Sun said...

I can SO relate - I LOVE this post - this is such a great place to stop and read and encounter some absolutely tummy tickling posts! Thanks so much for sharing your life - Sunshine

Kelly said...

Love this on so many levels... the always Mr. Right is my husband's motto to a "T"... but even more like my life is the phone call to the husband at work!I always feel sorry later, for calling him in such a frazzled state, but honestly, when faced with an assembly issue I really need things to be 100% ready for playgroup without my assistance!!

I'm sure playgroup will be back- just don't wear out the batteries before they get there:-)

David Campbell said...

I am right there with you...but so is David!!:) He and I laugh our way through putting toys and such together. The funny thing is that many times the "instructions" are wrong. When David and a friend put our swingset together, they could not believe the instructions and how inaccurate they were! I think they finally threw them out...which kinda scares me now that I am thinking of it!!
See you tomorrow!!
Love,
Keri

TaunaLen said...

OOOh those ihavenoideawhichone tools drive me bonkers! I am so thankful for my McGuyver husband. And I hear eyelashes do grow back, eventually.

~TaunaLen

Autumn said...

:(( playgroup?? Me and Paisley were so bored today! Off to post about how quiet life is with 1 child!

Carrie said...

That table is awesome...where'd you get it?

Andrea S. said...

Who would have thought it was that difficult to put batteries into a water table? I am glad that Chris is around!

Ann said...

I see why Sarah loves you so much. You are cracking me up, with nearly every post. I'm sure your son's friends will forgive you if they are invited over again!!

Sunni at The Flying Mum said...

So wonderful to meet you today at the pool! I love your backyard and that awesome water contraption!

And I just read lots of your posting, I must say that I TOTALLY agree and feel your pain on the Target return policy. I too have called it's "parents" to talk to them about it.

And the baseball birthday was ADORABLE!!!

Jennifer, Snapshot said...

That thing is really cool! I have had to resort to being somewhat handy because my dh is NOT.

Kirstie said...

I'm glad it all came together ;-) ugh. that was bad. Oh, you've been tagged!