Friday, October 26, 2007

Open Mouth, Insert Foot

Park gives new meaning to the whole "putting your foot in your mouth" concept.

I wish I were talking about something figurative, but unfortunately, I'm referring to Park's longstanding relationship with actually chewing and licking his own shoes. I have no idea why this has such lucrative appeal, other than the fact that the boy is more oral than dental floss.

If I ever had a tendency to be a germaphobe, Park cured me by month 2, when he actually grabbed the finger of a very unhygienic stranger at the grocery store and shoved it into his own mouth. Dirty fingernail and all.

At that point I hit a mothering crossroad. My choices , as I saw them, were to spend my life in heart failure over each germ he self-inflicted or LET IT GO.

Possibly out of sleep deprivation alone, I chose the latter.

Which obviously was a positive move on my part, seeing that he began licking floors around 5 months.

Then there was that moment at the playground where I turned my head for a split second. When my eyes ventured back to my sweet darling, I discovered a tasty little cigarette dangling from his 12 month old mouth. Perhaps if Playhouse Disney had run the "Just Say No" campaign, this could have been avoided.

But, I'm not sure anything could have stopped him from eating that spider at 15 months. (In his defense, at that stage in his toddlerhood, we were pressuring him to eat more protein.) So, needless to say, the child does not have a very delicate palate. Which is precisely why I took such offense to yesterday's culinary snub.

After one bite of the chili I made for dinner last night, he scrunched up his little nose and declared,

"Taste Gross, Mommy. I not like it."

And as I sat fretting over the irony of it all, he proceeded to put his foot in his mouth and chew away.

*If you would like to try some "gross" chili for yourself, the fabulously easy recipe is as follows:
1 large can tomato sauce
1lb ground turkey

4 cups of (cooked) black beans
1 tablespoon of worchester sauce (optional)
2 tablespoons of chili powder
1 tablespoon of cumin

Cook meat, add in pot, and heat.
Serve over rice with diced onions and/or cheese on
top (and of course a side of cornbread:)


Happy Friday!

4 comments:

Autumn said...

Mom's Amazing Cornbread:
1 cup milk
1 cup flour
1 cup cornmeal
1/4 cup sugar (you can reduce this as low as you want)
1 egg
1 TB baking powder
1/4 canola oil (i always use olive but on the occassion i have coconut i use it and the cornbread is tdf!)
throw some salt in

mix all together and pour in 8x8 dish or pie pan. cook for about 30+ minutes on 350.

Christy said...

that is hysterical!

Layton is the same way-at six months he began to crawl dragging his tongue across the carpet. Now at 20 months he just eats the dog food

Kelly said...

This post absolutely cracked me up.

My four-year-old son is going through a faze (at least, that's what I hope it is) where he chews his fingernails -- and his TOENAILS! Lord have mercy.

The first time I saw him without socks and shoes, chewing on his toes, I almost fell over. (And I've never been a germophobe.)

For now, all I can do is try to catch him before he actually gets his foot in his mouth.

Parenting is not for the faint of heart.

Lori said...

Oh those have been Cameron's favorite words for a while now. Whenever we lay something in front of her that she hasn't seen in a while she says, "I not like it!"